


Without Me

by evanderblake



Series: The Angst Series [2]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Crying, F/M, Fighting, M/M, Multi, Pregnancy, Sad, Whump, Yelling, no one wins this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 00:44:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14093304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evanderblake/pseuds/evanderblake
Summary: Based on the prompt, "I just want you to be happy, even if that's without me."This is part of my Angst Series on tumblr!





	Without Me

Don’t worry. It will only be a couple minutes. We’ll be right back.

Well, that was almost an hour ago. And he could still hear Arin yelling. And Suzy crying.

Arin and Suzy had shut themselves in an office, the closed door muffling their voices but not quite enough, because Dan could still pick out some choice words Suzy had decided to use.

Abnormal. Strange. Unhealthy.

Unhealthy was the one that stuck in his mind.

Ross and Holly were standing behind him, one hand on each shoulder massaging the fear from his tense muscles. Dan was noticeably trembling beneath their firm grasps, the utter terror of what might happen slithering up from the pit of his stomach and choking him, making it incredibly hard just to suck in a breath of fresh air.

The sobs followed shortly after, causing his whole body to shake and shudder beneath the comforting touches of his friends. Dan sunk to the floor, kneeling against the hardwood as he covered his face and wept shamelessly. He hated himself in that moment, feeling like an outsider in his own relationship, feeling like he was the one to blame for all of this.

And perhaps he was. He had always wanted what was best for his friends, and he was selfish to assume that he was good for Arin and Suzy. They had been just fine before he decided to confess his feelings, and now…

He heard the sound of glass shattering in the office. He expected a shriek, yelling, something. But there was just silence.

And then Dan was back on his feet. He couldn’t stand to sit there and listen to their fighting, much less when it was over him. Holly and Ross stepped back, giving him some space as he wiped the tears from beneath his sunken eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath before taking his first steps toward the office. He could hear Suzy softly weeping, and his heart immediately broke, making him hesitant to take another step forward.

He had to. He had to keep going.

Arin was yelling again. All he could make out was his own name, and ‘love.’ His knees grew weak, wobbly.

The door knob was so close, and yet it was a mountain of its own. He was stepping into a fight he didn’t have any place in, poking his nose into business that was not his own.

But then again, wasn’t it? They were fighting over him, after all, deciding his future as well as their own. He had every right to be in there, sharing his thoughts on the matter. Ross and Holly watched from a distance as Dan stuck his hand forward, grasping onto the doorknob like it was his last resort, and twisting it, allowing himself access to a fight that he was not at all prepared for.

Suzy was sitting on the couch in there, her face in her hands, still crying her eyes out. Arin was standing at the window next to a pile of glass shards, once a picture frame. And now Dan was there, at the far edge of the room, half-wishing he hadn’t had the nerve to get up.

“Is it okay if I come in?” he asked in a low whisper. He shut the door behind him, leaning against the wooden frame. Arin and Suzy turned to look at him, both sporting sympathetic smiles that Dan hated. He felt like a child in the midst of a custody battle, having to pick between his parents. Or rather, his parent’s picking between him and another child, choosing which they’d prefer to keep.

It made his stomach churn.

“I’m sorry,” Arin started, making his way across the room. Suzy stood and stuck an arm out, preventing him from getting any closer to Dan.

“This isn’t the time for affection, Arin. We have to talk about this,” Suzy snapped, wiping the tears that carried her running makeup.

“I just… I don’t think I’m ready to tell him,” Arin admitted, looking to his wife with sad eyes.

Dan stepped toward them, “Ready to tell me what?”

Suzy released her husband and turned toward Dan, not quite meeting his eyes as she folded her arms. “We can’t keep doing this.”

Arin walked away from Suzy, sidling up next to his boyfriend, subconsciously taking a side in their fight. “Are you trying to tell me that you don’t love him, Suzy? You’re just gonna drop everything that quickly?”

“It’s… not normal for a child to be raised with three parents. Who knows what kind of effect that will have on the baby.”

“Wait,” Dan cut in, pushing away from Arin. “You’re… You didn’t even tell me?”

They all exchanged surprised glances before anyone made an effort to answer.

“We thought you knew,” Arin admitted, shrugging his shoulders like it wasn’t a big deal. “We’ve… been fighting about this for a couple months. Ever since Suzy found out.”

“And you don’t want me to be part of that?” Dan questioned, anger bubbling up from his stomach. “It would be ‘too weird’ for you guys if I stuck around?”

“That’s… no, that’s not it,” Arin reasoned placing a hand on Dan’s shoulder that was immediately shrugged off. “I’ve been trying to tell her that it wouldn’t be… unnatural… for you to stay with us and raise the kid.”

Suzy made a dismissive noise, turning around. “I love him just as much as you, Ar, but I’m not letting him raise our child.”

Our child. Arin and Suzy’s child. Not Dan’s child.

It wasn’t even his. So why did he feel like this? Like screaming at Suzy, insisting that he had to be part of the child’s life? Like punching Arin in the stomach for not telling him sooner. Like weeping over the loss of a child that would never be his.

It would never be his.

“Don’t… I have a say in this?” Dan asked carefully, holding in the sobs he so desperately wanted to let out.

And it hurt even more when he heard Suzy say ‘no’ as Arin said ‘yes.’

Arin shot a look at Suzy, effectively shutting her up for the moment. She sat back down on the couch with a small “hmph,” turning away from the two and crossing her legs.

“Dan, you absolutely have a say in this,” Arin said with a small smile, “But it’s tough to change Suzy’s mind. Everyone knows that.”

He nodded once. “I’m not going to try to change her mind.”

And Arin’s smile faded.

“This is… your child. I just don’t see why I would have a hand in raising it.” He was lying right through his teeth. It made his chest ache.

“But, Dan we–”

“No. Arin, I’m not married to you. Or Suzy. I didn’t help make this child. That was a decision… that you evidently made without me.” His bitterness was starting to soak into his words, causing an unintentional amount of malice to come along with them. “ I’m just… struggling to understand why you would want me to be part of something that I’m not meant to be a part of in the first place.” He was digging his nails into the side of his arm, desperately trying to hold back tears as he spit the lies out of his mouth. He felt disgusting. He felt unwanted.

“We want you to be a part of this because we love you, Dan,” Arin answered, wanting so desperately to comfort his boyfriend, to do anything to show him much much love he had for him. “It’s just that Suzy…”

“It’s not right for a child to have 3 parents. How am I supposed to explain that to our kid? That Mommy and Daddy love each other very much, but yeah, we also love this other guy that has nothing to do with you,” Suzy shouted as she stood up again, getting right in Arin’s face as she yelled.

Dan wanted to fight her. He wanted to tell her how wrong she was, how having him around would be great for their kid. That he could teach the child all about music and dinosaurs and how to love other people. He would set a great example by showing how much he loved the child’s parents.

But that wasn’t allowed, apparently. That was unhealthy for the child. Unnatural. Disgusting. Wrong. Hard to explain.

Whatever the fuck kind of excuses those were.

Dan caressed Suzy’s cheek gingerly, watching her eyelids flutter as he did so. He knew she still loved him. Right?

“Listen, I want you guys to be happy,” Dan said, smiling sadly. “And I know now that… you’ll be happiest without me.”

He watched as Suzy and Arin both broke apart, looking to each other before looking back at him, desperation in their eyes.

“Dan, you know that’s not–”

“Thanks, but I know how you guys feel about me. I’m unnatural. Unhealthy. I’ll just go.”

Dan pulled his hand away from Suzy, and he tried to tune out their shouts and cries as he exited the room.

Ross and Holly were next to him in a split-second, both questioning what was happening, if he was okay, if Suzy was okay…

And he just smiled, tears forming in his eyes.

“Everything is going to be fine,” he whispered brokenly, his voice wavering with each lying word that escaped his lips. “I’m leaving for the day. I’ll see you guys later.”

He was careful about his word choice. He wouldn’t see them tomorrow. Or the day after. Or for several weeks.

Rather, he started looking for a new job. For new friends.

Looking for somewhere that he couldn’t get hurt again.


End file.
